AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

I am so out of it at the moment. I don't know if its the weather or what. I just feel the greastest sense of unaccomplishment in my life. is 14 too young to have a mid-life crisis? or does this just mean that I will die at 28? Something's missing, but I don't know what it is. I can feel this empty space inside of me. but i don't know what's meant to fill this empty space. It almost feels like i've gone to do something, and i've almost succeeded. i've almost gotten there, and then bam! it's been taken away. I don't understand why though, what did I do to have to feel so shit. I want to be a snowboarder. but I know I never can. I want to be a film director, but I know i'll never make it. I want to get somewhere, but the places i want to get to are out of my league. It's almost like i'm everything i'm not. what i want is what i cant have. what i can have i couldn't care less about. I don't care about being a model or an actor, a singer...whatever. I want to snowboard. I want to be Torah Bright.  I want to be Shaun White. I want to Direct. I want to be Alfred Hitchcock. I want to be James Cameron. but I know i'll never get there, which hurts the most.